Monday, October 8, 2007

i have so much of insecurities

Hazelnuts in Vanilla. Sinful.



Among all cookies cutters we have, despite my determination not to fall for heart shaped ones, I couldn't resist.



Spent the weekend downloading movies and watching them all. Was supposed to stand by at 12pm on Saturday but I overslept. Urghhh... was embarassed to be online 1 1/2 hour late and naturally, being someone who thinks too much, I forgot to apologize. Aiyak. Nice.
Some say love, it is a river
that drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
that leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger,
an endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower,
and you its only seed

Something about watching Jude Law's movies.... warms my heart all over. I'm starting to think I'm desperate. Erk. What did I just say??? Oh god.

But then again, maybe not. Oh I don't know.

Change of subject. I have just realized recently I have never talked in real life to some people I chat with. Not just some people, but people I considered friends or people I've known their existence of for a long time. People like kacap, what's going on with that??? Sometimes we meet, right kacap? On gatherings and meetups and whatnot. We wave hands to acknowledge each other's presence. But we never talk to each other. What's up with that? haha. Strange life this is. People like blek... Well given you're so far berkelana di Europe and I doubt that we ever going to meet in person but if we ever did, I think it's going to be just as the same. This is really amusing to me for some reason and I couldn't really think of a reason as to why it happens though. Maybe despite the appearances, we are all practically very shy and quiet. We're just too afraid to make our first moves. Too self concious if we're going to get rejected or ignored. Or maybe we reason why make so much of an effort to say hi when we know we're going to see the same face again at another gatherings. A little hi can wait.

Hehehehe... must admit, this is worth a thought. I don't mind at all the way they choose to be, I'm just thinking out loud here. Kepada kacap and blek, rencana ini ditulis berdasarkan pemikiran hamba semata-mata. I'm sure you'll have your reasons. Anyway I have another example: me. I sometimes skip saying hi to people I know when I meet them and just smile and nod from afar. It's okay if you're not close but if you were best friends before, for instance, you should at least extend your warm hands and give them a hug shouldn't you? I fail in that department sometimes. Sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it. Such a sad story.

Well, got to go. It's raining. Should be nice lying on bed with pillows and comforter with the fan spinning on max with air cond blaring. Ah bliss bliss.

Can I just end this post with this little snippet from a song. I'm so high... the emotional hormone is not at its normal level tonight. I'm feeling needy all of the sudden. Talk about perks of being a woman....haha.
No matter what I say or do, the message isn't getting through,
And you're listening to the sound of my breaking heart.
I really want you.

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