Wednesday, March 30, 2005


Went to see the doctors yesterday, did some follow-ups. They said I'm okay if the blood clot stays uninfected. Or else they have to open me up and take the clot out. I thought a doctor said the clot will be gone slowly after the bleeding stops. Hmmpffh!! I have to stay healthy then, no fever or worse could happen. Got another 1 week MC since the doctor thinks I'm not that strong yet to go to work. True, I feel energy-less since it happened.

Today I'll be out of town, going to Penang visiting sulking grandma. Don't know how I'd take it given my condition. Hopefully I won't throw up or something. Please please please be fit.

Oh yeah, I played games too - Command & Conquer: Generals, courtesy of my brother. I was the GLA team. Funny how the Middle East is so famous to gamemakers today since the 9/11. Last time they were Germany or USSR. No the games will always have the US vs the terrorists. The US will have something like Patriot Missiles and the like while the GLA has Rebels, Suicide Bombers, etc. It's understandable since the game is from US, they being patriotic and all I guess.

Whatever but I couldn't play as the US team because they'll be bombing the GLA - the 'Muslim terrorists'. Well being a muslim made me itchy bombing my own brothers and sisters. Not that I agree 100% what they're doing is correct though. It felt good to get to be a terrorist general virtually. Hahahahaha!

Tuesday, March 29, 2005


Aiyak... terasa gegaran tadi, lebih kurang kul 12am. Terus masuk news plak. Rupanya ada earthquake kat Sumatra. Kat Shah Alam pon leh rasa gegaran? Hebat tul earthquake ni. First time rasa gegaran camtu, takla teruk sangat, cuma bleh rasa lantai tempat baring tadi bergegar. Heard on the news it was an 8 on richter scale. Uuurgghh! Last time it was 9.

Harapnyer jangan ler jadik tsunami lagi.

Antibiotics dah abis. Pinggang rasa semacam jer! Kalau kat spital, dah lama mintak cucuk painkiller. Tak selesa betul bila baring. Took a couple of Panadeine just now. Hopefully it will go away and let me go to sleep in one piece.

Monday, March 28, 2005


I think I have to move on with my life. With so much bad things happened to me this year (and it's only March!), I feel I have to look on the brighter side of things.

Had a refreshing chat with a long time friend online. What an insight I got from this person on getting back up. It's very heartwarming how he still remembers me when we haven't chatted for almost over a year - since I was studying. I didn't recognize him at first since he used another nick. Luckily I wasn't that busy so he caught my attention. It felt so good like you're rebonding again with your lost good friend. I haven't forgotten him either. How could anyone forget people who sang John Mayer's song online for you?? Ahahahah. He stood out because of that, nice person really. So Khairil Edzwan, thank you! Cadangan awak tuh akan diambil kira seriously. Heh!

I've tasted how painful and bitter brokenhearted could be. So with this in mind, I'm declaring peace. I'm late for bed.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Your Song

My gift is my song and this one's for you

And you can tell everybody that this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is now you're in the world

I sat on the roof and I kicked off the moss
Well some of these verses, well they, they got me quite cross
But the sun's been kind while I wrote this song
It's for people like you that keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting, but these things I do
You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
And, well the thing is, what i really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

And you can tell everybody that this is your song
and It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is now you're in the world

Lagu best lah. Rasa cam lagu lama tapi dinyanyi semula. Tul ker??? Hmmm.... Moulin Rouge memang best.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005


News: I'm back from hospital. Those who already know the story, I'm recovering well. Those who don't, this is my testimonial.

Mar 6: La la la....
Mar 7: Ouch! What was that?? Do I have a bad sleeping posture?
Mar 8: Great. Pain still not gone. Hate walking with hand over the waist all the time.
Mar 9: Probably it'll take some time.
Mar 10: Hmmm... not bad. Probably pain gone tomorrow.
Mar 11: Surprise suprise. The Great Pain happened. Collapsed. ER. Drugged. X-ray. Drugged. Warded. Ultrasound. Drugged.
Mar 12: Ooh. Visits from colleagues, family and friends! Fever lurking in.
Mar 13: CT scan. Didn't know it would hurt so bad! That's the last time I did it ever. Atferwards I have fever.
Mar 14: Angiogram procedure. Where did that flowers come from? Have fever.
Mar 15: Threw up 2x. Hurts when lift left leg. Dr said could leave tomorrow. Are you kidding me. High fever.
Mar 16: Aiya. Hurts hurts hurts. Dr was wrong. Very high fever.
Mar 17: Still painful. Dr said pain will settle but will take time. Fever is killing me.
Mar 18: Less painful. Could lift my leg!! Yay! Fever gone.
Mar 19: Urgh. Please recover fast dear kidney. Getting bored.
Mar 20: Dr said could go home tomorrow.
Mar 21: Still feel slight pain. Home finally with lots of painkillers I believe all those painkiller abusers out there are very jealous of me right now.

There you have it. Basically that's what happened. I had some vessels inside the left kidney erupted and caused some bleeding, thus the 7cm blood clot outside the kidney. The doctors blocked the blood supply to the ruptured vessels (that have 2 lumps surrounded them - I probably have the lumps since birth) inside the kidney so they won't cause another rupture. That's what I understand from the doctors, using back their exact medical terms.

Since I'm not from medic line, maybe they meant another different thing but what matters now is that they've fixed me, 15% of my kidney is dead and I'm okay. Although they said once it's erupted, the probability for it to happen again is very high. Nooooooooo!!! I'm too young to be sick! I'm not sure what to do to prevent it from happening. Maybe I'll ask the doctors in next follow up appoinments. Oh yeah, 3 good looking male doctors (consultants) looked over me during my stay there - a general physician, a urologist + a radiologist. Hehe.

I'd like to express my foremost gratitude to those who made it there, visiting me during my weakest hours. Those who messaged and called, thousand thanks too. You people who cared, I'd like you to know that how your big hearts have helped me through it all and you all are without doubts the stars forever in my heart.

So the best and worst part of it all??

Worst: Being so vulnerable to so many staff there during diagnosis and monitoring.

Best: Definitely has to be everytime they injected me with some very strong drug I don't know what the name was. Although I was constantly on painkillers (Panadeine) while waiting the kidney getting used to new surroundings and the clot do dissappear, sometimes when the pain still wouldn't budge, that was the solution. No one or nothing could redefine euphoria any better from now on. I was soooo high everyday at Pantai Medical Center.

Wednesday, March 9, 2005


Some serious traffic jam this morning. Aaaarrgghhhh!!! Why is my waist not recovering?

Tuesday, March 8, 2005


I couldn't believe my luck... how miserable could it be??

I woke up refreshed. Just as I was preparing for work, I felt such a painful stab in my left waist. So I thought it'd be fine by the time I arrived office, I endured the pain (it wasn't that painful then). I parked the car and tried to get out of it. Then it striked one more time! Sakit siottt!! Which forced me back to my seat.

A moment later I got up and walked to the building with a heavy notebook in my hand and handbag in the other. I was walking senget to my left trying to tahan the pain. Punched in my card. Took a seat briefly with my hand on my waist, head on the table. Couldn't stand it anymore, so I walked towards The Manager's room and asked for MC lah. Walked also towards The Big Boss' office, did the same. Got out of there quickly and sped home.

Mom was worried sick. It's uncommon to see me unwell. Went to The Doctor and he explained. Turned out it's because I worked to much it strained my body. I went WHAT??! He even prescribed me painkillers. I took one and blacked out the whole afternoon. Ilang rasa sakit sumer.

Saturday, March 5, 2005


Discovered this site from Wahab. Much thanks lah weh!! Serves the purpose of blogging.


Suker nyer ati ari nie... waahahahahahahhah!

Friday, March 4, 2005


I saw Oscar the other night but not the whole show. So I decided the next day to visit the Oscar site. What caught my eyes first was the red carpet moments. Oh those dresses! One in particular is the one Charlize Theron was wearing. Then only I looked for the winner list. Typical. heh! I agree completely with Cojo's picks of best dressed for that night. I love the hairband Natalie Portman had. I want to watch Closer!!!!

Charlize has been dating Stuart Townsend since I can't remember when. 2001? 2000? If you didn't know already, Stuart turned down the role Aragon in LOTR and then Viggo stepped up. Look at that dress! I heard somewhere it took the seamtress up to 150 hours to finish the ruffles.

What I like about Charlize is that she always has her grace and class without being a snob. Acts like a true lady. Stunning!

I'm a fan of both Charlize and Stuart. Too bad he turned down that role.

Pics courtesy of

Thursday, March 3, 2005


Dah tengok awek Aran!!! ahahahahh... kantoi juga dirimu Aran di halaman rumahmu sendirik dalam perjalanan ke Sunway... wahahahahah... time kaseh tak terhingga kepada Labu dan Siput kerana menyumbangkan berita terkini pada masa yang amat sesuai dan tepat sekali. Sungguh bertuah kerna mempunyai kengkawan seperti kalian. Weh Aran balik kul baper haa smalam??? Bawak anak dara orang bejalan... kemain lagik ek! kui...kui...

1 hb lepas birthday adik ah.. Lupa lak nak blog kan. Happy Besday Mueh!!!!! Busy memanjang skang nih. Nampaknye hi-tea skolah takleh nak gi nih. Bajet pon lari. Gudbai skolah ku.