Sunday, August 27, 2006



My birthday concluded in a post:

Oops but before that,

I was stuck in traffic for FOUR DAMN HOURS for some stupid reason. Yea all the commuters on on Persiaran Kewajipan stretch last Friday night, say it altogether now - 'for some stupid reason'! The traffic lights were not working and it took them 4 hours to get it fixed. To make it all worse, no traffic police was in sight. For 4 damn hours. Yes people I've said it and I'll say it again - for some stupid reason. I reached home at 12.30am. Can you imagine that. Can you imagine how much torture did I have to go through to get to my comfy bed. On empty stomach may I add. I was on the verge of switching on my notebook and did my work while waiting the cars to move. I was that crazy. Just imagine the pain people. And multiply that with the numbers of cars that night. Aaaaargghhhh!!!!!

Oh my goodness I'm getting that out of my system right now.

* deep deep breaths *


So... the birthday post again:

It was so good that it fell on a Saturday! O yeah, a good sign already. Woke up late to a very bright and cheerful morning. Found out Ammar was missing and the front door was wide open. Was very confused as to what could've been happening. Checked the kitchen out, was in order. I didn't know what was wrong with me but I decided to get back to bed...hmmm... I was so convinced that everything was okay. Ammar was somewhere in the house and I just couldn't find him. When the senses kicked back in, I realized that his door was closed. Ah so he's inside. Not to take any chances, I peered in and yeah he was there reading something. So back to bed I went with a couple of made up explanations (hehe) on the front door. Couldn't be bothered to close it. Hey I was on high spirit lah don't blame me.

I didn't go to sleep immediately so I decided to watch Shrek 2. And Last Samurai followed with Ammar joining in. Abah's message came in from Penang to wish me happy birthday, to which I was beaming with joy. But he's not the first wish though but that doesn't matter really. Anyway, I told Ammar we were going to catch a movie so at 12 noon we were off to Bukit Raja. While queuing for the tickets, snapped a pic to send to Otel...hahahaha... just to make him feel like he was there, sort of... I'm a kejam sister hahahaha. When we were dining in at Nando's a pic again was snapped and sent. Saje je ngusik. That's the way we are but that doesn't mean we do that to hurt anyone's feelings. The best thing is we always know what exactly we mean even with a subtle body language. I mean it's like you have your own way to communicate with your brothers, especially when you want to keep something from the parental unit..... hehehe.... Siblings do that don't we all?

And after the movie, which was lousy (I was half asleep most of the time), I went shopping (fuyoo that sounds like I got a lot of money....hahaha... well for a moment here let's just pretend la haaa... it was my birthday). It seems so unreal to me since the last time I got myself a nice piece of clothing was months ago. And I got myself a new purse. Current one is too battered to keep everything together. I should get myself a handbag but my senses worked me out of it. A new pair of shoes but my head stopped me.

Spent the rest of the afternoon picking t-shirts for the boys, abah's included. Baju raya la kiranya, 2 pieces per person. They're not that branded or anything. I picked the ones that I like to look at and thought they would feel comfortable in it. I couldn't afford this previously so this really makes me feel like I'm responsible, well in a way that is. Like I mean something and do my part as family.

Mak je belum beli pape lagi. But she's mentioned a pair of Modernmom shoes... hmmm... mahal wehh... tapi I've never bought her anything that expensive yet so I'm smiling right now. I can make my family happy at the very least, that's what important. I know I can't spend this much often (I can't live like that to be honest) but it feels good.

Back home, we stuff ourselves with McD. Tak larat la nak masak. Too tired. So Ammar and I makan-makan and talked and joked while me sorting out the goodies. Afterwards Ammar went to his pc routine. I stayed glued on tv.

This is probably the most meaningful birthday I've ever had. Thanks for the warm wishes people. I really appreciate it.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

I love arabic language

I've left out one more radio station -! Not a big nasyid lover but I grew up listening to them and knew every song there was. They were not too big then but I believe it's them who had the most influence on me and shape me, in a way, the way that I am today. Even now if I listen to any nasyid song, I would recognize it instantly if it's an old song. And I always find that they sound better with real percusion, not with all these modern days musical instruments. You know how people love to make the old song sounds new to blend in the now or so they say.

The one thing that I love the most about Ikim is they speak arabic in some of their shows. Although I don't understand them most of the time but I can still get what they're trying to say. It's the arabic classes I had for 9 years! You don't forget the language that easily especially when you were good at it. I'm not saying that I was soooo good at it and soooo fluent I could pass as an arabic native, but I was good for at least at a high school level where the standard bar is set. It's not that high I can assure you. You know how language class is like in high schools.....

Yeah I love it that they use arabic as a medium on the radio. My arabic is as rusty as a bad bad rusted iron can be but what the hell right.... it's for my listening pleasure.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006


You know when I was younger (macamlah skang ni tua sangat pon...heh!), I used to listen to and thought Mix fm was for the adults and Light & Easy was for the elders.... I thought I'd stick with Hitz.

But when I started working, I listened to Mix on my way to work. Somehow I found Hitz was to childish to my liking. And recently I've started to listen to L&E on my way back home. Hmmm... I am an elder then, considering my categories that is.

The thing is I like listening to Kevin Francis's voice over the radio. I noticed that he read news or weather report or something that was played on across english speaking radio stations. The other guy I noticed is Faisal Merican. He read news, still does. But he's not a radio announcer I guess. I don't know. Maybe he is but I don't listen to his radio... lalala...

Back to L&E, I love the songs playing there. They're calming and easy to listen to. I switch to Hitz and Mix once in awhile, especially during the morning drives. Yeah it's got to be those crazy crews or cynical but very malaysian Richard & Syazmin. You know the game they have, where you have to let the other person say the word you're not allowed to say but only describe it? L&E has it too but I find it too skema ok. Siap ada timing lagi. Kalau abis 15sec then it's over. Alahai skema the very. Where's the fun la pepel.

And another they have is a game where you answer a question and you get RM50. Then if you decide to proceed and answer the next question correctly then the prize is doubled - RM100. If you still choose to proceed the same thing happens up until RM400 (I think) - that's 4 questions. The catch is if you get it wrong then the money is all gone. You get the idea lah. The only thing that I don't like the most about it is the questions. RM50 question can be like 'Who sings the song: put-any-60s-or-70s-song's-title-you've-never-heard-for-the-life-of-you-here?' Or 'What was the name of some jet that landed on the moon in some-odd-year-here?' and believe me when the caller guessed Apollo he was wrong. So very skema and unfun the Light Breakfast. I like the Light Meltdown! Kevin and the soft songs.... feels good when you're driving alone at night.

On another note, I saw baby Ain last Sunday. Her uncle had a small wedding reception held at his family's house and I got to see Ain!!!! A long overdue meeting I must say. The other I'm so anxious to see is baby Naufal. Saw the pic and he looks so much like his mom.... alaa comey comey kuit miut gitu.... Ain looks like her mom. And Am nampak kurus plak. Pakai jamu ape la nie.....

I should be getting back to work. Look at the hour! I should be on my bed dreaming about eating kfc by now. Alas.

Sunday, August 13, 2006


The other day I went to former workplace to pick up some things. So at this hour where I can't think of better words to say after a hard day squeezing juice out of my brain, I'm just thinking of immortalizing them in my blog. So in no particular order:

Greatest mentor in whole world, a dependable + caring person. Hold the bucket when I threw up once in the pantry - prior to being admitted to Pantai the minutes after.

Cleopatra eyes and bee stung lips. Friendly. Was with me on the way to Pantai. And stayed there till my mom arrived.

A people person, resourceful + damn helpful you wouldn't believe it. Helped mom figure out menu while I was half concious from the morphine.

Kak Izan
Good and considerate leader. Never has a problem with sharing her knowledge on stuff. Real easy to work with.

En. Suhaimi
I have no words for this man. All his advice and guidance are PRICELESS. I don't think I'll ever meet anyone that measures up to him. Great boss. He's the first person who found me unconcious and the one who managed my admission to Pantai.

Ok I'm sleepy.

Friday, August 11, 2006


I got back home around 1.30am last night. All due to work of course. And I was home starving. Malik and I were working at the client's place since Monday. On the first day we had pizza ordered in for us. But on the second and the third, we got only lunch and no dinner. I don't know about Malik but I think he was okay with no dinner. But maybe unlike him, I need food constantly. *sigh*

So back to last night's story. I reached home at 1.30 right. And I could've gone to bed straight away but Malik said Ganee was ok if we turn up late in the morning. So I decided to cook and eat something and turn up late for work. So to all my neighbours, sori la kalau bunyi kelentang kelentung dan bau-bauan enak di tengah2 kesunyian dinihari. Sesungguhnya aku amatla lapar. It was a quick affair since I didn't make anything complicated. By 2 I was in front of tv. I put Cold Mountain on and started my feast. Ok now since I was feeling like I could eat the whole cow, it took me an hour to finish my meal. Just imagine the amount of food yea. But since I am a slow eater so maybe not that eye popping amount but alot more than I usually have lah.

I took my comforter out and arranged the pillows on the carpet in front of the tv. Fell asleep right then and there, couldn't be bothered to get to my room.

I did turn up late today at work. But surprisingly I was so damn sleepy still. Boleh terlelap plak 4, 5 kali. I'm sure people were noticing. Haiya, not a good impression no? I couldn't help it really. Don't know why it happened. Malik sure punyer report je kat Ganee. Hallamak. Best buddies tuuuu.... ntah aper dia dah repot kat Ganee tu pon tak tau la.

Haiya. Bad publicity.

Monday, August 7, 2006


I've got something to say about my new boss - either he's sangat kejam or just test-test power jek. In 2 weeks I've already got 3 things to do. It's insane. A presentation on css is one of them, it came out of the blue while we were having lunch! Aiya how I regret saying about tables to Ika within their hearing distance. Got to prepare slides some more!!! What la. Never again will I talk anything so carelessly in front of him. Hah!

Ever since I got in here, there have been a number of creeeeepily suspicious exchange of looks between these people. Hmmm.... they got something up their sleeve ler. They got this hall of fame - people who has left. Ika told me every girl there has cried at least once, thanks to denied leaves and continuous late hours. But she said it with a smile, not with hatred or anything. They sometimes asked me how I feel about this and that... do I know anything on this or this... and everything along that line. I got warier when the boss told them not to say anything, again with a smile.

I don't know what they expect of me lah. Ape sebenarnyer yang sedang berlaku ni. From where I'm sitting, he's only testing my attitude and patience. If there's udang sebalik batu then I'm yet to find out.

Being the new girl is tough. The other day bos tanya do you like to travel? Tak pasal2 tanya padahal orang lain pon ada keliling meja. Mesti diorang ada pape ni, saje sorok.

Wednesday, August 2, 2006

Week 2

Ever since I left my glasses on my dressing table all alone, I've had people noticing my eyes - my eyelashes in particular. Feels good when changes work in your favor. Thank goodness I've made the right decisions so far. Not that I'm bragging or anything, it's just that I had been quite on an emotional ride for the past year - be it work or personal. I could feel my body giving up on me sometimes. And my mind would just not work when I needed it the most. A little change is all I need.

Anyway, no more tuition classes from this week on. I figured I wouldn't be able to take the extra load that comes with the new job. I think the kids will be alright, they're a bunch of smart and hardworking young people. I'm not that worried. They'll be alright. I'm gonna miss teaching and being amused at their innocent way of reasoning.

It's sad to leave something that I enjoyed doing but to tell you the truth, I am happier. I feel more confident, I am more sensitive to my needs, I am livelier than I've ever been and also I feel a leeeeettle bit sexier. You'll never know what a career can do to a woman. I've never imagined to be at where I am now. Still I have so much plan for myself I don't think I can do it all. There's so much I want to do but then again, one can only plan. What a short life span we humans have!

At this stage of my life, I'm thankful for the person that I am, for the family that I have, for the friends (I have a small circle of them) who care, for the miraculous helps that seems like coming out of nowhere and for this blog, for without it I'd be like a lost puppy. Now I really wish I had a boyfriend so I could mention about him here but looks like that's not going to happen soon. Hmmm.... well that's a start.

Off topic, this is the song Keith Urban serenaded his wife at their wedding...

. The lyrics made me smile the first time I heard it over the radio.

Making Memories of Us

I'm gonna be here for you baby, I'll be a man of my word
Speak the language in a voice that you have never heard
I want to sleep with you forever, and I want to die in your arms
In a cabin by a meadow where the wild bees swarm

I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us

I want to honor your mother, and I want to learn from your pa
And I want to steal your attention like a bad outlaw
And I want to stand out in a crowd for you, a man among men
I want to make your world better than it's ever been

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us

We'll follow the rainbow
Wherever the four winds blow
And there'll be a new day
Comin' your way

I'm gonna be here for you from now on, this you'll know somehow
You've been stretched to the limits but it's alright now
And I'm gonna make you this promise
If there's life after this
I'm gonna be there to meet you with a warm wet kiss

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us

I really love his lyrics. Here's another one - just a snippet.

I wanna be the wind that fills your sails
Be the hand that lifts your veil
Be the moon that moves your tides
The sun comin' up in your eyes
Be the wheel that never rusts
Be the spark that lights you up
All that you've been dreamin' of and more
I wanna be your everything

And another.

We all have our days when nothing goes as planned
Not a soul in the world seems to understand
And for someone to talk to, you'd give anything
Well go on and cry out loud 'cause someone's listenin'

Call it an angel
Call it a muse
And call it karma that you've got comin' to you
What's the difference
What's it in a name
What matters most is never ever losin' faith
'Cause it's gonna be alright
You're not alone tonight