Tuesday, October 31, 2006


I want to take up penpaling again. I used to have like 5 or 6 of them around the world and our correspondences stayed on like for a year or so. Some more than 2 years. The local ones, more than 3. Some more than 5.

Because of many trials and tribulations, not to mention the funny way life turns us upside down, I've lost contact with these people. Some due to my parts of not enough efforts being put in, some from their parts. For me, my penpaling activity stopped abruptly right after I started working. Many things contributed to that which I can safely say resulted in my sudden lack of life. As good as it is my life now, but yes my life was so much richer when penpals were around.

I can't imagine of a person who doesn't like receiving a letter. The stamps, the handwriting, the classic streaks of blue and red on the envelope, the fun paper they use to wite on, the token of appreciation no matter how worthless it seems - they still manage to be priceless, the idea of knowing somebody you've never met on the other side of the world has touched them and it's now in your hands tracing every line, every bumps, every scribble. You have no excuse not to respect the amount of care and time they have taken to write you.

I really really loved writing letters to my penpals. Now that I think my life is back on track, I'd love for another recreational focus to balance it with. Don't want it to be forever heavy on one side do I? What do you think of too salty nasi lemak? Not good right. So I think this is the right time to make it less salty. No wonder I feel a certain discontent sometimes. I've been eating nasi lemak masin for 2 years already!

Well I better get going. Haven't been out of bed all day. Yeap believe it.

Was surfing around and found this quote:
“Today, I marry my friend. The one I laugh with, live for, dream with, and love.”

Perfect for a wedding speech by either the groom or the bride don't you think? Perfect universal last sentence in your speech. Not for mine obviously but you know how simple sentence like that can have me up in the clouds for a second there. Hehehe.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

I was thinking about my voice

Please take note: Bear in mind that I'm not being or trying to be obnoxious. Read the post at your own risk.

During our long journey home cut short by abah (heran aku tak nampak pon polis sepanjang hiway)... the said topic was on my mind. But first let me tell you, I'm a breed of a sekolah menengah kebangsaan agama.

My high school mates kept telling me I had this kind of sweet or lemah lembut sangat kind of voice - konon dangerous la kalau bercakap ngan *ehem* lelaki. It's too menggoda they say. I never knew what it meant. The first person who told me not to speak so sweetly when on the phone was abah. I was 12. He has a very gentle and subtle way of getting the message across (who could blame him - I was only a kid), I never exactly got what he meant until I was in high school.

As far as I can remember, the other person who was told the same thing about her voice was Pelut. Well, she looks and totally embraces of being graceful and ladylike and perempuanmelayuterakhir-like. Me on the other hand, I don't think I posses that kind of quality. Not in that much amount to qualify as one at least. Yet I was told to change my tone of voice or be careful when speaking up in an audience of men. Perli and kata-kata pedas did come my way but being a rebel at heart I was screaming out loud you can go to ##@#&%! I mean these people (who was using another person to get back at me - another sad true story) were telling me to do things that's so ridiculous, it really got in my nerve big time. Oh heck they're just jealous lalala. They can't make a man melt at the mere sound of their voice so being catty and all they just want to argue something stupid. Who can change the nature of themselves anyways? We come all in one package and that's all there is. What the hell is wrong with my voice anyway? Geez if you can't deal with it then you can shove all your complaint up in your ass. Period.

So you think I stayed with my rebellious ways and live happily ever after? For some part yes. But for my voice - I chose no. I'm not that big headed that I refused to think for myself. Some things they said was partly true. I mean the women should keep their voices low when talking to bukan muhrim right. Suara tu pon aurat jugak so kena la jaga. And also I didn't want to be known as mengada or gatal and the like. I listened and I evaluated. The action, though, was not taken immediately. Actually I didn't quite get it when they told me the first time. Too menggoda? How menggoda then? Too lembut? How lembut? How do I make it normal, or less lembut, or whatever so you'd stop saying things to me? The annoying part was that they couldn't pinpoint me to the direction. "Alah keras kan sket suara awak tu". Fine, keras it is.

So I began my new chapter of life with practicing new tone of voice. I was pengawas asrama then so I yelled a lot - "Lights off!", "Baju sape tu oi!", "AJK Kebajikan turun!", or changing my word emphasis when public speaking. Hey don't think I was a bully haaaa because I wasn't. I had no problems with the juniors, only the with the management. So I kept on practising even though it was hard. There was improvement but the old tone was still there. I got to the point where I decided to hell with this all. I had tried and whatever comes out of this, I'll deal with it.

Suffice to say that I had succeeded in a way because there were less people talking to me about it and then none. Maybe they had grown tired or they couldn't care less or I had truly succeeded. Hurrah.

Fast forward 8 years later. I have the keras tone with me now, mixed up with the lembut tone. I know it's not all gone because I still have the effect on people sometimes. Both good and bad.

Good's: one example - one man from insurance company calling me up was flirting with me like crazy the other day and it's not because of the insurance I can assure you.

Bad's: I get misunderstood lots of times. If the person I'm talking to is not looking at my face, some time through the conversation, by only the hint of my voice; they'd think I was mad at them/tengah perli diorang/I mean bad things. Although I don't feel that way in any way remotely possible. If they had looked at my face I was smiling and meant no harm. This is especially true on the phone.

I welcome all the boons by all means come come come. They're both flattering and a confidence booster. But the bad effects oh god help me. I'm a nice person. I don't mean anything hurtful please understand. I can be asking someone a plain routine question "Ni ape benda ni ha?" and that someone would reply me back "Eh apasal tetiba nak marah ni?". You know it's depressing to explain to them back I'm not angry or anything I was just asking blah blah blah. This is where I blame my keras voice. And because I've been doing it all these years it's difficult to change it back. I sound really kasar if I'm not careful. This is what I get from playing along with the idea of 'dangerous voice'. Aiya this is a burden.

So now, when I reached home, I've decided to get my lembut voice back. I know it's in me somewhere and I have to get it out. Lantak le whatever people want to say. It seems the keras is giving me more troubles so keras must go.

Lembut. Welcome back.

Friday, October 20, 2006

I'm back in the country

....and loving every minute of it. Oh yeah.

Ok so Adda and I went to the office for some briefing from Ganee n Syuk today. Before that, thousand apologies to Adda sebab kena tunggu sejam lebih. Sesungguhnya aku tak sengaja. Kalau bukan bulan posa aku dah belanja ko makan sushi ok bebeh walaupon aku tak makan lelehan daging-daging mentah itu sume... heheheh...

After what could have seemed like hours, we finally got out and headed for Sogo. The goal was to look out (or maybe purchase *ahem*) for a backpack for the notebook. I have the carry case but I like my hands to be free picking and vandalizing other things while walking so...

Well I got one in the end (no surprise there). Okay pick I guess. Because of the price tag only I've planned to use it for another 10 years or so. Heh! Good investment should pay you back right. No, make that a hefty investment. So I'm hoping it will pay me back. I demand it.

Oh I forgot. I was told today that a letter of confirmation will come my way soon. That's a good news. About time too since they send me to Brunei while I'm still on probation. Also I'll get a raise of RM200. A very good news.

Came back home later today stuck in the traffic. You know how it is around 5-6pm here during Ramadhan riiiiiiight. Frustrating. That and one in a lifetime experiece that took place today, only that it's more silly and memorable other than frustrating. Too bad Siti wasn't around to share it with. HAHAHAHA (boley tak aku gelak dulu???)

I mean you CAN get carried away with meaningful conversations aka gossips even with your stomach growling, begging for food and still miss your stop.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

I'm seeing gold

I have to say I'm taken aback looking at the beauty of this mosque. I love it especially at night when it simply glows. Perfect lighting effects - brilliant design and architecture. Add to that luxurious choice of material. The domes are gold plated. Wait till you get inside.
The pic below was taken at dusk.


Everywhere around it you'll find loads of fountains (there's one in the ablution area). I'd like to think that it's such a cool place to hang out. Lots of shrubs with plenty of space. This one beats Masjid Negeri Shah Alam flat out on the upkeep of the place ONLY. Mentioning other aspect will leave me speechless, but not in a good way so, really.

So below are the inside pics, in the female prayer room. Look at those. You can tell they're all 24k gold plated.



I love the carpeting!


So we were at one cafe right, for buka puasa. I found this at the back of my plate while waiting the food to be ready.


Oh my goodness. I mean what is this place I'm adopting?

Saturday, October 14, 2006

The day I'm having fun with pics

On one fateful day, 3 little ladies were frozen in time.


Mak Merah: *dreamily*... tak sabaqnya nak balik posa kat umah... tiba2 teringat kat bazar ramadan....

Bawang Putih: *calculating heavily* ... bonus raya + gaji - kain - tudung - excess baggage fees - bingo boutique - handbag = nak beli jugak!!! $$$

Bawang Merah: cool bebeh cool....

And in conclusion, ini blog aku... hahahahahahahahahahahh

My dearest frens have interesting characters. And I love them for that!

Friday, October 13, 2006

I think I have sleep disorder

I've been consuming caffeine like no other. And I don't even like coffee. One moment I was on the verge of falling off the chair and sleep right there on the floor, the next I was wide awake like fresh from a deep sleep.

And the food. I don't think I'm losing any weight this ramadhan. Curious.

I'll be back home this Tuesday.

Thursday, October 12, 2006


1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4
...distribution, merchandising or manufacturing - please read...

2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
Table counter.

3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Alex & Emma.

4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is

5: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?

6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Aircond machine humming outside on the balcony.

7: When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Just now for sungkai. Went to a very noisy place with people eating and talking loud to long lost friends from a couple of tables apart.

8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
My blog.

9: What are you wearing?
Sweat pant & shirt... (sejuukkk brrr....)

10: Did you dream last night?
Slept like a baby, can't remember a thing now.

11: When did you last laugh?
I'm sure I had one recently.

12: What is on the walls of the room you are in?
The holder for the aircond remote controller.

13: Seen anything weird lately?

14(a): What is the last book you finished?
Hiroshima - John Hersey

14(b): What book are you currently reading?
Interview With The Vampire - Anne Rice

15: What is the last film you saw?
The Jacket - downloaded it.

16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
A house. Save the rest.

17: Tell me something about you that I don't know
I can write in straight line (horizontally that is, perpendicular to the edge of the paper mind you!) on a blank paper. I'm so very silly proud of it... heheheh

18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Please let the world be at peace with each other. Where everyone can win in fair fight.

19: Do you like to dance?
Sure do. But sadly can't.

20: What is the last thing you ate or drank?
A mug of very sweet nescafe.

21(a): Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

21(b): Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

22: Would you ever consider living abroad?

People, please feel free take this tag and do them. Occupy your little boring insipid moment and help change the world. Then go to sleep.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Bulan Mercun Sedunia

You know out of bad things that can happen to you (e.g. hajah), some pretty neat things just popped themselves out out of nowhere.

[1] Been dining out for sungkai aka buffet aka perut kenyang tanpa keluar sesen pon aka tenkiu Cip!

[2] Oh yeah, mercun boleh didapati di tepi2 jalan di mana2 sahaja di sekitar Brunei. Walaupon aku tak besa main time kecik2 dulu, dah tua gini pon syok gak tengok Adda berlari2an membakar duit secara subtle/halus.


[3] Sini opis hour during puasa is up until 2, then we're free chickens.

[4] I'm amazed at my own ability to close one eye on whatever it is hajah is doing/talking about. Sure there'll be immediate rants and aku akan hangin satu badan, but moments afterwards I'll cool down. Hmmm... what an achievement don't you think... hahahah suka nya ati aku...

Sunday, October 8, 2006



ijaunyer.... bila nak tumbuh bunga ntah....

Help! I can't sleep. Couldn't sleep last night and had to concentrate on work the next day. Came back home feeling sleepy and was ready to hit the bed. Instead I switched on the tv and fell asleep on the couch for only like 3 hours!! What is wrong with me?

I couldn't last a day if I don't have enough sleep. Now it's like I could survive with 3 hour sleep. That's crazy.

Ok I will now force myself to sleep and have a happy dream.


p/s: just for the sake of letting it out, I HATE THAT PEMPUAN LOTION ITU OK (usage of terms is courtesy of toooooooot). Betapa aku benci dengan perangai talam dua mukanya itu. On why I hate her so much:

  • doesn't have the guts to take the responsibilities

  • is so quick on pointing fingers to others

  • is the most unprofessional human being you'll ever find in this damn whole world

  • fails to recognize the priorities of things

  • doesn't even have the decency to admit it when she's wrong

  • doesn't have respect for others, much worse if you're younger

  • is the person who truly cannot function in a team

  • even if she's in a team, she'll bring the team down - like what she does currently

  • doesn't listen

  • even if she does, she does best at neglecting her role as a pm to resolve problems diplomatically

  • this list could go on but I wouldn't want to waste any more space of my precious little piece of humble and brilliant blog on her


Wednesday, October 4, 2006

Sungkai bah

Guess what. We broke the fast at a bruneian's last night. Nice people. We on the other hand didn't bring anything as to what the manners say we should have - some kuih or anything. Yeap dengan muka tak malu nyer wehh.... Didn't really want to give them the impression we're so young and don't know how carry ourselves etc you know...



It's one of those adab with tuan rumah la kan. Always bring something especially the house we're going ada orang tua. Those people can tell and to be honest they're the ones you have to impress first right? Not that I'm making a big fuss out of this. Only that what mak said to us adik-beradik once still rings true: "Orang melayu ni kan kaya dengan adat2 resam. Ada cara kita. Walaupun dia kata takpe, buat susah2 je buat air - itu bunga2 bahasa orang2 tua. Kalau orang datang rumah, kena la buat air. Rai tetamu." And Islam teaches the same thing, so.

I know that doesn't fit exactly on my scenario here but you get the idea lah. You have to always know your manners regardless of what people tell you. People come to your house, kena la hidang air. You come to their house, especially to a private party, bring something la to the table.

When we were salam2 I mentioned something like "Mintak maaf la tak bawa ape2 tadi" to the host and she said it's okay. I felt so helpless because there was nothing we could do except to smile sheepishly looking at all the food she prepares herself while walking out of the house. I mean they took the trouble to cook and were kind enough to invite us to join the family, the least we could do is show up appreciative. Showing up with nothing is like "Kami mai nak makan ni. Mana nasi. Kami tak bawa apa2 sebab akak yang yang jemput makan so kami expect makanan dah ada. Takde la susah2 bawak lagi." or anything to that extend lah you get the idea.


Why do I get the feeling like I'm making a big fuss out of this??

...heheheheh.... just so you know, I was writing that piece up there smiling with occasional chuckles....

But anyway it was fun. The family was great last night. I didn't talk that much as I always don't when I'm in a large group of people. But it was so meriah and noisy as you know how a sesi makan2 will go in any kampung. And yea they were concerned that we were not accustomed to cara kampung - duduk bersila on lantai and so on... heheh... Funny how being young and dressed up from workplace get people thinking that way.