Tuesday, January 30, 2007

I have to let this out of my chest

I can't stand my current PM. I just don't like his approach within the team. Maybe everyone else is fine with it but I'm not. I mean what the hell are you doing keep on blaming people around you. I confronted him once but he denied it. Come on. I know that game people play this days. You make other people feel guilty with your words and then right after that saying it's okay, don't mind about it, just do as I say blah blah blah. What's that suppose to mean??! Harsh words in one minute and then all comforting and soothing the next? I am not someone you can play your words with mister. You bring down a person's confidence real low and expect them to rise again all by themselves. Do you realize what you're doing.

I had this instinct within a few days meeting him. That something about his managerial skills really bugged me. I was relieved that I didn't have to report directly to him. I can see why he's a PM though. He has an exceptional persuasion skill most don't have. He's not that bad I can tell you as he's quite manipulative, an asset not to be looked down upon. Different people has different ways of doing things, I get it. But underestimating a subordinate or a colleague is not a clever thing to do. Believe me I've learned my lesson.

If I did something wrong, by all means, TEGUR. It's not like I haven't been corrected/reminded before. It's the after effect that makes the difference. While teguran by people in the past motivated me, his teguran on the other hand doesn't have the same effect.

Oh man what a headache this is. All this while I was trying my best. Is my best still not enough here? How dare you not letting me defence myself. Do you have any idea how Pengislaman looks like before I took over? Do you know how it looks like now? Do you know how big it is? Can you tell me some of the functions off the top of your head right now if I ask you to? Can you draw a basic goddamn flowchart of the flow of any one case in the system? I'm doing the job that's supposedly should've been done by group 1 - the complete flowchart for the SRS. If you have any idea how big it is by now, can you see how complex the flowchart can be? Have you ever offered any help to assist your developers? Like adding users and assigning their groups for instance. Sure it's not written on your job sheet but by just offering a hand it sure as hell will improve your reputation in your team's eye. Ever leaf through the UAT script, showed some effort you're trying to get to know the system?

Don't give me that shit you don't need to know the technicality thing. You're a PM for godsake. We need you more that your golf clubs do.

I'm sorry but you don't motivate me. I'd like to apply some quality in my product but you can't seem to understand that. Yea coz you're being pressured to get the payment. Fine, do whatever you like. I have lots of document to update. Change list, template guide, data entry, etc etc etc. Like you're going to help me with that.

Take a look at Adda and Siti. Have you ever tried to help these people? Take some burden off their shoulders or something.

How can you reason being a PM is easy. It's not about ordering people around to get the job done. It's about taking charge and paying attention. Take a look at how khalifahs did they work. Take a cue lah. You don't have to be perfect all the time. It's fine if you make a mistake. But learn from it. The past is there for you to look back and reevaluate. So let them be your guide. I'm not going to judge you if you're stuck or lost. Just ask for help and show some effort.

You know what's the most frustrating part? You are a nice man. I've seen you with your kids. What a wonderful father you are. You have the potential of being a great friend. But why this? What makes you so difficult to work with?

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