Monday, January 9, 2006

"Life offers you 1000 chances.

All you gotta do is take one."

Last 2 nights when was I was ironing my clothes, I thought of Bad. And then I found myself smiling of happy memories. It didn't hurt anymore. And I realized that I'm not that same person anymore. Me in 2005 is totally different with me in 2006. How I feel right now about Bad breaking up with me is so different now compared to then 6 or 10 months ago. The more I thought about it, the more I appreciate how my life's been going so far. Everyone has their own fair share on life and mine has been enriching and so fulfilling. I know that now that whatever comes my way is actually what's meant for me. All I should do is just embrace it.

I was given a chance to experience and feel a lot of things when Bad was in my world. Now that he's gone I'm not going to pretend that he's there. But unlike some people around the world I had my chance of loving someone and to be loved in return. I was there in his life, I was his world for a moment there, he swept me away, and I'm forever glad for that. And to get hurt afterwards, however bad, is just a way of telling me that I'm that strong to face it. And it has proved to be right. I'm not keen on getting hurt again, oh yeah believe me, but it has made me aware of feelings that weren't there before and what I'm capable of. So it took me a year but finally I've done it. So I've wasted a whole year but I'd like to think that I've grown so much. I probably was over sensitive and dumb sometimes during the whole thing but now that I can smile at it all, what could be better than that yea? Some things just strike me funny.

Hmmmm... You see, I've never dedicated anything on my blog to him. Poor guy... hehe.... it's not intentional really. So if you're reading this Bad, please know that you'll always be my best memory in my life. Too bad our timing is a bit off. Or we could've been enjoying our life together right at this moment. So here's wishing all the best to you! And a song - I know it's not that appropriate but the song's great... hehe... plus it was how I felt just so you know.
I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as you turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here, never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it, couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
When part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here, never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it, couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
When part of me died when I let you...

After all this
Why would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it, couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
When part of me died when I let you go
When I loved you more than you'll ever know
When part of me died when I let you go

I feel so much lighter now. Today is a good day. Esok cuti...yeehaaaa!! Oh yeah I'll be on leave on Thur & Fri too. Yesss!!! Buleh kemas bilik yang takde rupa bilik anak dara pon tu... keh keh.... bilik kecik sangat pon susah plak pikir camana nak ngemas.... kete pon dah lama tak basuh. Isk! Hecticnyer my life. *space gazing*

**** intreprem gamba Ammar sattt... ****


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