Thursday, December 14, 2006

Heavily drugged

It feels like passing out in a minute and being wide awake the next. There's no easy way to put this: I have to take the med or else I wouldn't get better. The catch is that they make you damn sleepy. And I'm on the top of piles of work. I don't know which one to go first.

My voice has changed. The sore throat keeps coming back if I talk in loud voice. Whenever I cough it hurts my stomach so much I have to bend I keep mouthing oh fuck. I don't understand how anyone can stand this every morning. I really wish I was in Malaysia so I can give Pak Tam a visit and have him to fix me up. This is such a nuisance I have to blog it here over and over. Really, if it's not for the pressure here I wouldn't say a thing and would definitely sleep it off. The meds are so strong they can knock me off just like that. I'm so not used with drugs. I don't get sick that easily.

I'm half awake as I'm writing this. This is so bad. I can't differentiate my a and my z. Fever is gone, only now I'm battling with flu. I'm just afraid it'll get to my head and totally flatten me out. That is what I'm really worried about.

It's been a week. The thing is I don't really want to burden anyone. Things have been really slow and whether or not they've noticed it, I'm really really sad. It's just not my thing showing my emotions around. I'm always seen laughing or chuckling it out.

I just figured out my left eye can't see clearly. Great. Gotta have that fixed too. I make it sound mechanical now don't I. Whatever. I'm going to.. yea... whatever.

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