Resigning Dilemma

I didn't know resigning would create such a stir here. Thought they would just let me go. But the opposite is happening here. Aku pening. According to plan, I'd submit the letter today but they purposely talk their sweet way into my already made up mind. The unthinkable has happened: I'm having second thought.

Kesian plak kat big boss sampai kata to give him a chance to correct things. But the period is too long lah 3 months. 2nd boss plak kata the place I'm going is not right for me. Membara gak bila dia kata camtu sebab he just came in like in February. Doesn't know me that well yet don't you think? Kak Izan satu lagi. Tu la orang kata lembut seorang wanita tu tak bererti lemah. Lembut2 pon power alahai aku pon terlentok, kepala pon bertambah pening. Pikir banyak2 aku tido terus.

Camana ni haa? You know one thing good with this is that big boss is now suddenly aware of the issues that has been forever in talks among us. It's just that nobody has really come up to him and said: "Boss, we're having this and this issue. Please look into the matter immediately coz you're losing some of your quality staff." Or maybe someone has but he was waiting for the right time to act on it. Unfortunately the job offer came sooner than his plans so....

I've been called in like to 3 sessions, separately, on the resigning issue - not including session with the HR yet. Honestly, I'm impressed. Now I know what my worth is in here.... but sadly I'm not proportionally rewarded. Hence the inevitable.

I'm going to lunch and eat and eat and eat.

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I had planned to do some work last night. But instead I fell asleep and there went my unfinished work. Isk! I can't even take a nap these days or it'll turn into a whole night slumber. Am I that tired at the end of every day?

We'll be having a UAT tomorrow and now I'm in real trouble.

On a different topic, I've developed some fondness for Kenzo Flower. I've learned my lesson with Lolita Lempicka so I only use it only once in a while, only when I'm out with friends and family. The rest of the days are filled with Burberry Baby Touch. I'm an EDP person and since Baby Touch doesn't come with one so I'm on the look out for another fragrance that goes easy with the notes, like kids fragrances. I'm wondering how Bvlgari Petit Et Mamans smells.... been eyeing that one for such a long time... but alas it doesn't come in EDP. I have to spritz lotsa lotsa spritz every morning to get the intensity one of EDP has.

I spritzed Kenzo once and I instantly liked it. But then I don't want something that most people has already been using. If you want something to be yours, would you want it to be so ubiquitous? Not the way for me.

Song I like

Home

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home

May be surrounded by a million people
I still feel all alone
Just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two "I'm fine baby, how are you?"
I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky I know
But I wanna go home
I got to go home

Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not come along with me
This was not your dream
But you've always believed in me

Another winter day
Has come and gone away
In either Paris or Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I'm surrounded by a million people
I still feel alone
Let me go home
Oh I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I've had my run
Baby I'm done
I gotta go home

Let me go home
It'll all be alright
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home

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I've been offered a job. But the workload, I imagine it to be seriously heavy. Mak + abah wouldn't approve, I think. Since I'm a girl and all.

But what an opportunity it is to let it slip from you.

The challenges ahead if I took up the offer:
1. Jauhnyer mak aiiii.... minyak + tol + maintenance + parking tickets + etc = $$$$$..... But then again, it's been like that since we've moved to TPG.
2. Late working hours. Especially during critical project period. And I mean very late. Personally, I don't have any qualms. Parental units la might disagree.
3. Will be working in a male dominated workplace. Yea I saw the place when I went to the interview. I saw only 2 females there. But that's only the occupants on the 1st floor. Dunno about the rest.
4. New colleagues who may or may not turn out to be the best colleagues eva! If it's the former, yay! If it's the later, errggh! Have to deal with them anyway. Intelligently I mean.

Have asked for Husna's assistance in writing resignation letter, just in case. I know crap in that department so a little help is a big help. And the leave things, she's got the experience so she's all I need right now.

Since I've mentioned Husna, I'm telling you she's the most warm and kindhearted person you'll ever meet in this world. I haven't forgotten the role she played when I was admitted to Pantai. I just don't forget that kind of things. It should be made a rule or something, that kindness should not be forgotten. And that it should stay with you forever so that you don't take things for granted, and you appreciate your loved ones more. People should learn to appreciate more of their life. How many times do you say thank you to strangers? I mean like do you say thanks to the toll gate girls who hand out your change? Or pakcik guard yang jaga gate kondo? Or people who hold the doors for you? Or who help to pick up coins for you when you hands are so full with shopping goodies?

I believe if you say thanks to someone, you better mean it or else it would just be a waste of your energy, really.

Membebel plak kat sini...ehehhehheh.... yea well, I'm a person who remember good deeds people do for me. No matter how small. I still remember back in school, there's a boy who helped me to get rid of a crazy dog on my way to musolla. It was like 5.30am, I think. The dog was barking mad at me. I still don't know who that boy is, now obviously has grown to a man. But yah, I remember.

Anyway, I'd like to just be grateful to Ken, even though he doesn't know this blog exists (and I seriously don't wish him to) for making me to take that step. For that, I've landed on this job offer. And may I remind you mischievous-and-quick-to-come-to-conclusion people, there's nothing wrong with being close to the opposite sex by staying friends ok.

Aiya my back is killing me. Gotta to get back to work. I just spent an hour for this post. Heh. How typical.

The job thing, I'm still thinking hard about it. Should I or should I not.

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Michael Buble has a very very enticing voice. Lembutnyer suara mamat ni.... sedap je tinge ni dengar. If you listen to Home, it's like he's sitting close next to you, singing.

Anyway, that's that. I got one quote:

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this is not difficult.
- Charlotte Whitton

Hahahaha!

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Stumbled upon 'The Lake House' today. A total chick flick I must say. But you never know right.....

Basically it's about 2 people (Kate and Alex) who correspond through letters. Read on the website if you want to know more on the storyline.

What Keanu Reeves has to say on letter writing:

The very act of letter writing requires that you take the time to collect your thoughts. It allows you to be your best self, your most intimate and thoughtful. You have to wait for the other person to receive the letter and then respond so there's a sense of longing and waiting that concentrates your intention.

Sandra Bullocks says:

It avoids the superficial song and dance that always happens when people first meet and are trying to present their best side. ..... Because of the unusual nature of the connection there's no embarrassment and no fear of sharing all of yourself because there's a part of you still saying, 'Well this doesn't really exist,' or 'Even if it does, I'll never meet this person so what's to worry about?' What makes them fall in love so deeply is the utter fearlessness they have in revealing their vulnerabilities upfront.

More form the website:

There's a feeling of holding in your hands something that someone else has touched, especially when there is so little of the physical realm they're allowed to share.

*sigh*.... reminds me of my letter writing days..... which ended abruptly since I started working... when up until then I had been a very good snailmailer... and I had some pretty good penpals.... *sob sob*.....

Of all the technology that surround us these days, I find communicating with someone through handwritten letters are the most attractive. I just don't have people to mutually snailmailing with now. Too bad.

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I woke up late today (there's a good reason for this of course). For the first time this year I drove to work without the need to turn on my headlights. Translation: the sun was already up. That's how late I was. Luckily the schools are on 2 weeks break so the traffic was smooth even at prime hours. How the breaks relate to traffics in Malaysia is still beyond me.

But despite all that, I arrived at work relatively early given how late I was. Hmmm. Luck I guess.

Been

ing all week watching Elliott clips. Especially the one when he was in the top 20. And another one in his later Idols stage. But the voice remains the same - amazing!, throughout the whole thing lah.