"Life offers you 1000 chances.

All you gotta do is take one."

Last 2 nights when was I was ironing my clothes, I thought of Bad. And then I found myself smiling of happy memories. It didn't hurt anymore. And I realized that I'm not that same person anymore. Me in 2005 is totally different with me in 2006. How I feel right now about Bad breaking up with me is so different now compared to then 6 or 10 months ago. The more I thought about it, the more I appreciate how my life's been going so far. Everyone has their own fair share on life and mine has been enriching and so fulfilling. I know that now that whatever comes my way is actually what's meant for me. All I should do is just embrace it.

I was given a chance to experience and feel a lot of things when Bad was in my world. Now that he's gone I'm not going to pretend that he's there. But unlike some people around the world I had my chance of loving someone and to be loved in return. I was there in his life, I was his world for a moment there, he swept me away, and I'm forever glad for that. And to get hurt afterwards, however bad, is just a way of telling me that I'm that strong to face it. And it has proved to be right. I'm not keen on getting hurt again, oh yeah believe me, but it has made me aware of feelings that weren't there before and what I'm capable of. So it took me a year but finally I've done it. So I've wasted a whole year but I'd like to think that I've grown so much. I probably was over sensitive and dumb sometimes during the whole thing but now that I can smile at it all, what could be better than that yea? Some things just strike me funny.

Hmmmm... You see, I've never dedicated anything on my blog to him. Poor guy... hehe.... it's not intentional really. So if you're reading this Bad, please know that you'll always be my best memory in my life. Too bad our timing is a bit off. Or we could've been enjoying our life together right at this moment. So here's wishing all the best to you! And a song - I know it's not that appropriate but the song's great... hehe... plus it was how I felt just so you know.

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as you turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here, never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it, couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
When part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here, never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it, couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
When part of me died when I let you...

After all this
Why would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it, couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
When part of me died when I let you go
When I loved you more than you'll ever know
When part of me died when I let you go

I feel so much lighter now. Today is a good day. Esok cuti...yeehaaaa!! Oh yeah I'll be on leave on Thur & Fri too. Yesss!!! Buleh kemas bilik yang takde rupa bilik anak dara pon tu... keh keh.... bilik kecik sangat pon susah plak pikir camana nak ngemas.... kete pon dah lama tak basuh. Isk! Hecticnyer my life. *space gazing*

**** intreprem gamba Ammar sattt... ****

Tickle: Super IQ Test

*Actually Syam forwarded me the link a long time ago and I did the test. I don't remember if I've published it here. Then I was at Apis's this morning and saw the link and thought why not did it again. So I did a few minutes ago and guess what? My IQ now is so much lower than the time I did months ago.... what gives?? ehehehehehe....

Go here to try it out: TEST

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On Jun 7, 2005
Nuhaa, your Super IQ score is 131

Your overall intelligence quotient is the result of a scientifically-tested formula based on how many questions you answered correctly. But it's only part of what we learned about you from your answers on the test. We also determined the way you process information.

The way you think about things makes you a Creative Theorist. This means you are a highly intelligent, complex person. You are able to process information of nearly every kind with ease, using both creativity and analysis to make sense of the world. Compared to others you also have a very rich imagination.

How did we determine that your thinking style is that of a Creative Theorist? When we examined your test results further, we analyzed how you scored on 8 dimensions of intelligence: spatial, organizational, abstract reasoning, logical, mechanical, verbal, visual and numerical. The 3 dimensions you scored highest on combine to make you a Creative Theorist. Only 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combination of abilities.

===============================
On 9 Jan, 2006
Nuhaa, your IQ score is 109

Your overall intelligence quotient is the result of a scientifically-tested formula based on how many questions you answered correctly. But it's only part of what we learned about you from your answers on the test. We also determined the way you process information.

The way you think about things makes you an Analytic Detective. This means you are an unusually talented problem-solver. You are able to think through a process step-by-step, and know how to zero in on anything that is even remotely illogical. Compared to others you are very adept at discerning numerical patterns and solving difficult equations.

How did we determine that your thinking style is that of an Analytic Detective? When we examined your test results further, we analyzed how you scored on 8 dimensions of intelligence: spatial, organizational, abstract reasoning, logical, mechanical, verbal, visual and numerical. The 3 dimensions you scored highest on combine to make you an Analytic Detective. Only 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combination of abilities.
===============================

*See the huge difference? I mean, seriously. I'm 22 point short. What a terrible way to start a new year. Yea yea I'll stop complaining... hehe... not that matters much. Anyway, what a beautiful morning it is today. Drive to office was smooth. I like.

Updates

[1]
Was stuck in traffic last night on my way home after work for 2 hours. Oh my god.

[2]
This morning (rainy and me abit blurry), mak asked me to check the car battery + radiator.
Yours truly: Bateri ok. Air radiator ok.
Mak: *reaching for the wiper water bottle*
Yours truly: Tak yah bukak le mak nyer. Leh nampak air takat mana.
Mak: *ignoring me*
*prap tup tup tup...*
Mak: eh.... ya Allah. Lagu mana leh jatuh ni? Tak nampak pun tutup tu. Tadi dia jatuh tang sini. Mana pi?
Yours truly: Mak!! Isk! Kang dia kacau belting ke hape ke... isk
Friendly neighbour butted in: Kenapa? Itu tutup sudah jatuh itu bawah ka?
Yours truly: *wrinkled face*

After so much trouble trying to find the tutup...........
Mak: Jom pi kedai suruh depa cari. Sat lagi dia kacau engine. *more searching in progress* Mana pi mende Allah tu?
Yours truly: Ala mak kaklong dah lambat ni. Takyah la gi. Lecehla *search search*

Finally...............
Yours truly: Kaklong rasa dia jatuh kat plate kat bawah tu la. Tak nampak. *muka masam*
Mak: Jom pi kedai.
Yours truly: Takyahla... lambat dah nih *muka masam lagik*
Mak: You're willing to take the risk?
Yours truly: *pikir mode*
So we headed to the bengkel. They couldn't find the tutup either. Maybe dah jatuh on the way there. So they replace the bottle lah. RM35. Mak yang ngulur.

A bit disturbed with my muka masam mode for the whole thing. It's my mother I was talking to. Doesn't matter whose fault was it. So I calmed down and smiled.

Mak: Nanti balik kul brapa?
Yours truly: *with so much gentler tone* Tengoklah. 4 jam. Petang nanti kot.
Mak: Kalau Ammar tepon kang kaklong tulong ambik ye
Yours trulu: Ye lah

With that I drove off to office.

[2]
Was almost involved in an accident if I hadn't been that alert. Had never pressed the break pedal like that my whole life. I think the bus driver was drunk or sleepy or something. He made a sudden swerve to the right. There were a couple of cars behind it and then me. There were screeches. What's more, there was another bus behind me. Luckily it stopped just in time. It was that close.

I've been thinking if it was because of my lembut hati with mak saved me. What if I had left with so much anger and frustation towards mak? Huuuiiihhhh.... satu pengajaran tuuuu....

[3]
Ok I have a sore throat. And today it's starting to itch. Been coughing every now and then since morning.

[4]
On a very much lighter note, I got the pink Goggle sweater I was eyeing weeks earlier. Hehe.... Bad things happen for a reason. They make you appreciate life a little bit more. The way I see it:

The car + throat + almost there car accident + traffic < the pink sweater

Since the car and accident is not likely to happen soon:

the pink sweater - (the car + almost there accident) > the throat + traffic

So that translates to: Anytime I have the pink sweater, I'll be happy even there's sore throat and traffic in sight, since the pink sweater now carries a value so much greater then throat's and traffic's combined.

So this equation is true for now....heheheheheheheh....

I better start working now or I'll be home late.

p/s: Happy belated birthday abah! It's actually yesterday. Many many many happy returns. We're always praying for your safe return home and for us to be together again.

Smooth drive

Huwallamaakk... saujana mata memandang time balik keje semalam. Sejuk ati tengok. Kan bagus kalau gi keje pon gini.

See what challenges life throws at me at the moment??? Thank god I'm still young.

Happy new year!

Hey hey hey... A very happy and prosperous new year to all!

Guess what I did yesterday? It was a very spontaneous act lah. I got a new cell... keh keh.... and it's the new Sony Ericsson nonetheless. Well actually the phone I had fell off hard - Ammar is a witness. And I believe the speaker is broken and somehow something or somewhere between the transmitter and the coverage is trailing off by seconds - Ajai can be my witness here.

This is a sentimental issue. I've been with the old phone for over 3 years now, after 2 years of abah using it. I love the monophonic ring tone better than polyphonic actually. I don't quite get it why people like to listen to the radio-like ringing tone when it doesn't even have a radio function in it. Maybe that's exactly the point - what you can't have, you can at least pretend like you have it. It's cool and people like to be considered cool. Well that's my 2 cent on the matter. Anyway, yeah it was hard not using the Nokia. It has been of a great service to me. Not to mention that it was once abah's. I believe it still is. I have the intention of returning it to the rightful owner but I think he'll get a new better one when he comes back home. Whatever it is, I loved that phone.

So now with the Sony Ericsson era dawns on me, I better get used to it (had been a Nokia user) because I intend to utilize it to the max up until perhaps 5, 6 years time. I don't change my cell every now and then like some people do, see I'm a loyal person.... and practical. What good would it bring me if I keep messing up with my brain trying to adjust to new configurations etc etc? I don't have time for that thank you very much.

Hmm... I think I've made a right decision picking the right cell fo me. It's gonna be a valuable asset and necessity sure thing. I thought I'd pick one of those small cute flip-flip cell, clamshell they call it... eheh... but I found myself disliking the miniature too tiny shape for my taste. Susah wehh nak tekan keypad tuh. Kiut sangat pon leh jadi less appealing. The one I got has a very sturdy feel to it. And it rotates to open, not flips - the number 1 feature I stay away from. I think flips make any cellphone receive quite a hard slap lah. Bergegar sume kapasitor, transmitter, bulbs, etc kat dalam tuh. They need a very careful and graceful owner lah, I think. Which I'm not so keen of being... lalalala....

Lama2 tgk, nampak cam cantik plak si Sony Ericsson nih.. ahahaha.... besa la tepon sendiri mmg la kata lawa. One glance, you might mistake it for a digital camera or a mini radio. Seriously. Go take a look. What's best is that it's orange! Dapat white housing free tapi orange gak best. And it does function as a radio and a camera. Also an MP3 player. Speaker dia giler best tatau nak kata camana. Dia siap kasik CD ripping software lagi. Muahahahahahaa.... gelak besar aku wehh....

Hmm.... have I made a right decision ahhh??? Eiiii... takut ilang cam kamera ari tuh. Nangis tak berlagu kang.

Manual dia kasik dlm french. Aiyak! Saje nak perli aku ke hape ni....

Oh yeah, now I'm officially a Sijangkang resident with a Telok Panglima Garang address.